Love You, Hate You, Live or Die!

These are actually lyrics from a song–I know, back to the music thing–but these words are perfect for my mood right now. No, it’s not about DH. I’m thrilled he’s taken off a week to help with housework, all those honey-dos and he’s gotten my race car ready for test & tune tonight.

I’m referring to my current WIP…how can it be current since it’s been six sick years from conception. That’s a long time to be carrying a baby. I love my characters and I hate them. They live in my head, screaming at me to finish the damn book, but I want them to die, or go away. But they won’t. I know how the story ends–I’m at the edge of writing the black moment. It’s so exciting in my head.

I know there is some deep pschological reason I’m not finishing this book. And truly, I don’t care to explore the whys and why nots. This is what it is.

Love you, hate you, live or die….think I will be saying this to my front flower beds today as I enjoy this wonderful warm spring day.

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12 thoughts on “Love You, Hate You, Live or Die!

  1. I completely understand that feeling, Meg! I dragged my feet so long in finishing my first book that my CP threatened to come down from Oklahoma and kill ME!!

    Sometimes I think the only thing scarier than failure is success. There is always that feeling of “this could be the one” and then the next feeling is “what if I can’t top this?”

    Nobody understands the nagging little voice that stays in a writer’s head and whispers all that nasty doubt and angst over and over until you start to believe it. If anyone deserves to die it’s that nasty little blighter! He’s just not that easy to kill!

  2. Louisa, you’re right. I know I’m more afraid of success than I am of failure. I don’t want to give up my ‘comfort’ zone.

    Racing makes me do just that, though. I can’t stay comfortable. Racing is controlled chaos, an accident just a breath away. It truly brings out another side of me.

    I’m so glad you’re back!

  3. Hm, do we need to come down from Oklahoma, Meg, and smack you around a bit? šŸ™‚

    I think you are more afraid of success. But look at it this way: after that first success, there’s always plenty more failure. You don’t even have to go looking for it; it’ll be nipping around your ankles, waiting for you to trip so it can gobble you up whole.

    Write! You may know how the story ends, but the rest of us don’t!

  4. I know that song!!! It’s a Ty Herndon song!!! Am I right, am I right?!?!! Mom, you are great…seriously…if you don’t get your butt in that chair…seriously..you hear all about my workouts…you know I can take you! šŸ™‚ Hehe…I love you! You make me proud every single day! XOXO

  5. I’m right there with you and totally understand. All too clearly. Too bad we live so far apart. We could horse whip each other every day (figuratively, of course) to get the other going on that wonderful WIP that’s just sitting there waiting to be finished. And published.

    OH! I know. Say, Meg…RACE, YA’!

  6. Meg,
    Thank you. Thank you! I can connect with this in so many ways. Right now I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff holding on to a hang glider. I am either going to drop like a rock or soar. Then again, I may do both.

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has a running dialogue with the people in my head.

    And you know with Spring fast approaching, it’s so tempting go play outside. But my husband keeps telling me to “go write something.”

    Lynn

  7. I’m right with you, sister, except my WIP’s been gestating for closer to
    six years. Hey, Linda, maybe I can join the challenge? And, Marilyn, will you come over and smack me around, too? Sounds like my kind of kinky!

  8. What I wouldn’t give to have all or some of you come down–y’all could give me a good Oklahoma smack-down! If only by not writing, I could get some of my RWI sisters to vist me for a change!

    Amy, Oh Princess of Songs, you are absolutely correct. It is Ty Herndon. He performed that song at the Food Show in Tulsa a long time ago!

    Linda, I’ve got your number, girlfriend! We do need to get on with things. I’m ready to race, I think. The car is ready, and DH is racing The Phoenix until we finish building his car. He’s out to beat me this year. Having your wife finish 4th & him 14th….. ‘nuf said. šŸ™‚

    Lynn, I’m standing on that cliff & let me tell you that first step is the worst, and the hardest to take. Your DH sounds a lot like mine.

    Jackie, you’re superwoman with all you do. Let’s get these WIPuppers out!

  9. I’d be happy to smack you, too, Jackie. Hey, I spent all last summer in hand therapy with women who could bring a gorilla to his knees. I now have the strength and the flexibility to do some serious smacking. I’ll just line you all up in a row.

    You’re a risk-taker, Meg, you’ve proven that. Say you step off that cliff — you, too, Lynn — and you fall like a rock. Here’s a secret: the cliff’s not that high. Hitting the ground’s not going to kill you. You may have a few aches, but you get up, brush yourself off, climb back up and try again.

    And here’s the really cool part: what if you DO soar? You’ll never know until you try.

    I’ve got a scrap of paper on my bulletin board that says, YOU CAN’T WIN IF YOU DON’T PLAY THE GAME. You can’t win the race if you don’t enter. You can’t sell the book if you don’t submit it, and you can’t submit it if you don’t finish it.

  10. Go for it Meg, you can do it! You’ve written one, you have it in you to do another. I once told my mother that I needed an asskicker to keep me focused on my writing. She laughed and told me that if I did I would just fight back and I still wouldn’t be writing.

    Claude Mary

  11. Marilyn–you’re right, of course. Like racing, if I don’t enter, then I don’t have a shot at winning–not that I have a chance, but there’s always that slim glimmer.

    CM, Thanks! Like your mother said to you, if I’m pushed to do something, I usually turn muley or fight.

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