The Road to Hell

Seems like any time I commit to something with a deadline, sh*t happens, you know? Like this post. Claude Mary’s on an Internet-less vacation (we want pictures, CM!), so I suggested yesterday afternoon that we switch days here. I had the whole evening stretching out ahead of me — plenty of time for writing and scheduling this post. (You didn’t REALLY think I was ever up in time to actually write and post at 4 a.m.?!?)

If I were smart, I would have written the post (and the newsletter column due this evening!) right away. But no, I went ahead with what I’d been doing — cruising the Internet for recipes — thinking I had the entire night. (So don’t go blaming yourself, CM. I’m the queen of the procrastinators.)

The entire night? Yeah, right. Soon after I got off the phone, DH told me we had to go to the emergency room. (Long story short: two weeks ago, he broke his wrist really, really bad; the doc had to rebuild the joint with a plate and about a bazillion screws.) The cast they’d put on him Friday had gotten unbearably tight, and the doc’s PA had agreed that it had to be loosened.

So off we went to the ER, where we saw some of the happiest emergency patients I’ve ever seen. I kept envisioning the block on the triage form: Was alcohol involved in the injury? LOL.

Hours later, the cast was still intact but cut in two so there was room to breathe. As I watched the doctor slice it open with the cast cutter, then pry it apart with a screw driver, I was thinking, “I’ve got a SawzAll; I’ve got a screw driver; I could have done this at home and still had time to cook dinner and blog and write a column and a dozen other things.”

It was after eleven when we got home, and by the time I let all the puppers out and fed them a very late dinner, writing anything besides “good night” was the last thing on my mind. So I got ready for bed, took a sleeping pill, got all snuggled in, and suddenly my eyes popped open. I’d forgotten to blog. And then they closed right back up again.

That’s the way of my life. If it ever gets too easy, Fate will smack me upside the head. The funny thing, though, is that I wouldn’t want it any other way.

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10 thoughts on “The Road to Hell

  1. OMG, Marilyn, I am right there on that road to hell with you! Is that AC/DC I hear tuning up? Come on sign with me!

    Hope Bob is doing better.

    Lynn

  2. Poor guy. Hope his arm is better soon. For me life has always been about the adventure. So those little unexpected things may set me on my butt for a minute, but then I laugh, get up and get on with it. Anything that makes you stop in the middle of chaos and just laugh at it all is absolutely good for your soul.

    Life is far too serious a thing to be taken seriously. And more often than not those detours you have to take because life has thrown a big old roadblock in the way always lead to someplace you might never have gone and might never have forgiven yourself if you missed.

  3. I really hate it that Bob is so laid up. That has to suck, for him and you! ANd I know all about life smacking you in the head. Sometimes I think I’m the queen of it. But hang in there Marilyn…you never know, it might make a good story one day. 🙂
    Ashlynn

  4. Thanks, guys. I’ve passed your good wishes on to Bob. The instant they made the second cut in the cast, he gave a great sigh of relief, so while he’s still hurting, it’s not as bad as it was.

    Amen on the detours, Louisa. And as long as we can laugh, we’re okay, right? (Weird coincidence: Dolly Parton on “60 Minutes” just said, “It was either laugh or cry, and I prefer to laugh.”)

    Ash, everything is fodder, right? We have to live life before we can write about it. And you, little bit, have done a lot more living than your young age would suggest. And you’re still relatively sane, you’re talented, and you brighten our days. Brava to you!

  5. What a hoot, Sandee! I feel exactly like the flamingo collided with the tree!! And the trailer park game . . . our neighbors up here on the hill are real isolationists (now that they’ve got their land, they don’t want anyone else moving in), so occasionally, just to tweak them up, Bob will mention to them that we’re thinking of turning our big open field down the road into the Hilltop Mobile Home Park. They THINK he’s joking, but they’ve got just enough uncertainty that it shakes them up.

    Maybe this summer I’ll get some cheapo plywood, paint a ticky-tacky trailer on it, along with a border of lawn flamingos, and plant it in the field with a Coming Soon banner across one corner.

  6. Marilyn,

    That is a great idea!! Be sure and take a pic and post it on this blog if you do tweak the neighbors. Then you can sit back and watch ’em sweat. spw

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