Men….

This week I’ve had the extreme pleasure of having my son visit. What amazes me is that small rascally boy has grown to interesting man! Yeah, I know, kids grow. they make our hair turn gray, shave years off OUR lives with their antics, listen to different music, have their own language and strange sense of humor. Then **poof** they morph. I saw this with my darling daughter, but she’s always been focused (and a ton of fun!)

But my son a man? Men are wired differently than women. Directions? Who needs them. That bolt won’t come out? Use a bigger hammer. And they way they dress? In my humble experience, my guys still need Garanimals! Clothes shopping yesterday with dear son was not a total joy–DD & I both found new shoes and clothes. Dear son went to the rack, selected two pair of shorts and a shirt and was finished! His three selection cost the equivalent of three pair of shoes and two shirts! He’s a man, he doesn’t care about sales and percent off. I tried to tell him that math is an intregal part of shopping!! And chemistry is involved in perfume and clothes, therefore he ‘must’ check labels. I’m pretty sure this bounced off him as he rolled his eyes and quickly walked to the nearest available space he could park his butt.

So what does this have to do with writing? Everything! Men aren’t the same. Not in their speech, mannerisms, walk, and well, most of the things they do. It bothers me greatly to read a male character who isn’t fully formed. Just watch a bunch of guys and you’ll learn how different they are. A whole new species.

But my dear son, you will always be my sweet baby.   🙂  

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19 thoughts on “Men….

  1. What great pics, Meg! The sweet boy turned from a brown and white foal to a brown and white car. . . hm… Wonder if it’s a color thing? 🙂
    I must admit the foal caught my eye before your boy did! That was one sharp looking horse! Do you still have him/her?

  2. Thanks, Margaret! The horsepower changed–the car was Don’s.
    No, we sold Ms Martha Six Moons after she raced. I still have her half brother, who looks similar. Should have kept her and sold Gambler. She was one of the sweetest fillies I ever own!

  3. Remember that Dennis Quaid movie — “Something to Talk About,” I think –where the women lock the father out of the house. One asks what he’s doing now, and another looks out the window and says, “I think he’s peeing on the trees,” or something to that effect.

    Says a whole lot about men.

    Beautiful horse, handsome son. I can’t believe how he’s grown.

    • One of my favorite movies!!! That’s where I first loved Kyra Sedgwick.
      You got the line right, too. I used one of the lines from there, but that’s another story. That is another of our girls’ night movies!!

      Thank you for the kind words!

      • How about “You told me to keep him busy. Well, he’s busy holding his balls”?

        Kyra was a hoot in that movie. I have to admit, though, that for a long time, I was rooting for the horse guy to win Julia’s heart. I love that guy, and Dennis was, as Kyra put it, a hound dog.

  4. Meg,

    I know what you’re saying about your son. One minute you’re still trying to tell them how to live their lives morally and righteously, and the next minute, you are looking into the eyes of a man you can admire.

    I spent the first month or two really looking at my grown sons, thumbing my overall straps and saying, “look what I did!”

    I have pictures of Zack in his underoos. I wonder if I should post them here??

    Shopping with men = bad.

    I agree with every comment about writing from a man’s standpoint being really, really different from a woman. Some women can’t pull it off. It translates into something earthier, more primal, I think. Not a woman’s take on anything, that’s for sure.

    I always try to have a man read my men’s viewpoint stuff and I change EVERYTHING they recommend I change. spw

  5. Right on both, Marilyn. Ah, you do know me well!! It was the Jr League meeting, except I went into a business and said that. Not orginal on my part, but the question was quite appropriate.

  6. Okay, I’m gonna be upfront here: I don’t try to make my male characters sound, act or think like real men, and the other people’s heroes who do usually fall into my I’ll-read-’em-but-won’t-love-’em category.

    Real men are . . . well, men. Books are fantasy. I want my heroes to be the men real men would be if we could force them to. I write my fantasy heroes because I don’t want to be gritting my teeth or restraining myself from smacking them every five minutes.

    That’s not to say that I write wimpy heroes. My guys don’t know the difference between taupe and tan or lavender and violet. They don’t talk about their feelings with their buddies. (That just cracks me up when I read a book and suddenly Mr. Macho Alpha starts confiding in his buddies about his feelings/fears/uncertainties — and they don’t smack him upside the head. LOL.) They aren’t all sensitive and touchy-feely.

    But they’re not like real men either, not in a whole lot of ways. And that’s how I like ’em.

  7. Loved the post, Meg. Also loved the pictures. No matter how old your son is, he’ll always be your ‘little boy’. {grin}

    • Thanks, Linda! Yes, he’ll always be that.

      Marilyn–you always write wonderful heros who are good yet have a flaw, like all men. You are right that I don’t want to read about a hero who adjusts himself, or burps, or farts, or all that other pleasant ‘male’ stuff.
      I can just see of bunch of rednecks sitting around the campfire downing longnecks discussing their inmost feelings. 🙂

      • Snort. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen it in books, and it makes me LOLPMP. I think the closest any of my Calloway brothers got to discussing feelings, one of them smacked the other on the back of the head.

        I don’t want my heroes to talk like real men, either. I listen to Brandon and think, “How can those words come out of the same mouth that tells me ‘I love you’????” The boy has no tact and believes profanity is a required part of speech, along with verbs, nouns and adjectives.

        (In fairness to him, when he was about ten or eleven, he, Mom and I drove from North Carolina to Maine and back. Before starting the trip, he remarked to Mom that he didn’t know how this was going to work out, because I wasn’t able to drive more than a mile without cussing at someone. {But I NEVER cuss in front of my mom. She’d hurt me.})

        When DIL got pregnant, he broke the news to me: “Guess who’s knocked up?”

        ‘Nuff said.

  8. Great post Meg and what a handsome son. Having raised two sons, I’m right there with Marilyn on the profanity. I hate to admit this, but I think I’ve become deaf to it. I don’t necessarily encourage it, but between my DH and my sons, I’ve learned that cussing is apparently a required skill every guys must have in order to get his MAN LICENSE. My oldest son told me today how outraged he is about his local grocery store selling porn mags right out there with men’s hunting magazines and sports mags where the little kids can see them. He said, “I can’t believe it! They’re selling f*$*ing porn!”

    I laughed ’till my sides hurt and he had no clue why.

    Gotta love our sons!

    Lynn

    • LOL, Lynn. That sounds about like my kiddo.

      When my nephew was little, whenever he burped, my sister would prod him to say “Excuse me.” One time, at dinner with the family, he burped, and Jacki asked, “What do you say?”

      Kevin grinned and said, “That was a good one!”

      It’s in their genes.

      • Sounds just like my dear son!
        Lynn–MAN LICENSE **snort** yep!
        On Saturday we were working on race cars and tractors..guy magnets, so friends came over to help. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice before the way the two younger guys picked on each other. Crude language was out as “I” was present.

        You are soooo right….gotta love our sons & the other significant males in our lives!!

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