Aspiring author sends off her latest manuscript, which makes a quick turnaround and arrives back at her house. Her teenage son tears open the envelope, and that yucky grayish padding stuff falls out. “Wow, Mom,” he says, impressed. “They hated this one so much, they burned it and sent you the ashes.”
To Rudyard Kipling: “I’m sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don’t know how to use the English language.”
From an editor reviewing The Bridge Over the River Kwai: “A very bad book.”
From an editor who turned down The War of the Worlds: “Oh, don’t read that horrid book.”
To William Faulkner: “Good God, I can’t publish this!”
There. Don’t you feel better now?